Wendy's Coaching Philosophy & Experience

Learn what to expect when you work with me.

We begin with some version of "what do you need?"

Are you hoping for PROBLEM-SOLVING or ADVICE from someone who’s seen it all before?

Whether it’s giving you another point of view entirely, helping you identify your blind spots, or asking the right questions, I’ve got you.

Do you need someone safe who will JUST LISTEN? 

And when I say "just listen" I mean really hear what you have to say, with no judgment, even if it takes two hours of just you talking.

If listening is what you need, I am a queen at listening. I'll listen from, “What else does she need to say?

I value listening to the whole story if that's what's needed. I know that we rarely get the opportunity to talk it all the way out, and often once we do, we have more insight and can see our right next actions. I trust you to know yourself and what you need better than anyone – you just need the safe space to get there.

You can count on me to:

  • Listen
  • Give it to you straight with love and compassion
  • Be efficient with your time
  • Tell you if I think I can’t help you
  • Give you everything I’ve got

You can’t count on me to:

  • Sugar-coat situations to make you feel better
  • Agree with you all the time
  • Say you should stay with someone if you present me with wildly impossible incompatibilities or unforgivable behavior
  • Not swear (sometimes I do)
  • Get you married (if you're single and you want that, that’s your part)

My Philosophy

I am anti-rules and full of common sense. If you’re dating, courting, or in a committed relationship(s) such as marriage, when it comes to rules, I want you to question everything.

The only rules I want you to follow are your own. In fact, I recommend creating best practices to replace rules altogether. (Advanced stuff.)

Rules and strategies made up by others won’t work for you.

Do you want to know why?

They’re not yours.

They’re someone else’s.

For example, a common question many women ask is “When is the right time to sleep with him for the first time so this turns into a relationship?”

  • The Rules (circa 1995) says three dates
  • The 30 Day Method is floating around online, too
  • Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man offers a 90-day rule

Which one is right?

Which one is true?

Which one will get you what you want?

The answer is none of them.


These rules/strategies are not your best practices. They don’t belong to you.

I can help you run relationship rules, or dating strategies, and nonsense through your own internal filter to see what aligns with who you are and what you need.

Convention, tradition, and running with the pack are not my strong suits. With me, you’ll find a judgment-free zone where we noodle around in what could bring you happiness and give you what you need and desire. I will help guide you to your own best practices based on your authentic self and what works for your life.

I can't wait to get started!

My Experience

I’ve coached and/or led workshops to over 70,000 women helping them understand men, relationships, dating, and sex.

It all started in 2002 when I joined a company committed to understanding gender differences and learning how to partner well.

As a workshop leader, one of my tasks was to continually conduct social research with men and women to help to understand their experiences.

This had me see men and women in an entirely new way. After thousands of research hours (since 2002) I have the extreme privilege to see men and their world in a unique and new way.

I have applied the knowledge I've gleaned to real-life experiences witnessing what worked (and what really didn’t work) in the practical application of relating to men.

In my interviews with thousands of men, we've covered topics of understanding gender, dating, sex, marriage, relationship models, partnership, fidelity, what would have them commit, what has them stay devoted, what they think of women in general, and more.

Pretty much anything you could think of to ask a man, I have likely asked at least a dozen of them (probably hundreds). And I make good use of the information I have in my coaching.

After spending countless hours with women in workshop rooms and one-on-one in private sessions, I have seen, experienced, and worked through the patterns, themes, and common struggles many of us women share. Some are biological and instinctual, others are cultural, and we often think we’re alone in these struggles, but we're not. You are not alone.

. . . . .

Personally, I was married for 12 years.

After my marriage ended in 2002 (not a coincidence I wanted to learn about men back then) I was single for a decade.

During that time I went on 121 first dates to meet my husband, Dave (lucky #121).

This journey taught me what works and what bombs miserably in the dating world –and I am happy to share it all with you if you want it.

I have a partner (polyam) whom I met in 2018.

I am so grateful and wildly happy for this weird and wonderful life I live.

And I want you to be ridiculously happy in your life and in your relationship(s) too.